Dear Blog,
So, here's the short of it; I have good intentions, but they are thwarted far too often. I began the new year tracking every penny (yes, I mean literally every cent) that I spent. It's been eye-opening. My biggest vice is not clothes shopping, as I had assumed, but the little things; Starbucks here, french-fries from In-N-Out there, and just not feeling like eating at home when there's plenty of food.
Which leads me to vice number two. I'm not a naturally hefty person; though I am a nibbler (I'm the multiple tiny meals a day person, as opposed to the three-squares type). It's the junk food I've been consuming. Crackers and cookies and soda because I was bored (who uses that as an excuse?!) have added up. I counted my intake for today by mid-afternoon, and it was shockingly high. No doubt aided by a trip to Carl's Jr. today; but I ordered a KIDS MEAL, and I still managed to down more than 600 calories in that one meal.
I am organized; obsessively so. Tracking all of the nitty-gritty of my expenses has helped curb some of my other more impulsive organizing sprees, but now I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't start making a list of things I've eaten in a day; just to become aware. Not to lose weight; I'm really happy where I am, but I am also well aware that I haven't been eating healthy.
All of this leads me to another consideration; if it's economically smart and health-conscious, is it environmentally and socially responsible? Because, the fact is, I don't want to create more waste than I need to. You can argue all you want about global warming, but if you put gas into the air around you, it's not just going to go away. So, I don't want to put crap into the air - or the earth - or anywhere else for that matter.
I'm considering making this a blog about those things; how can you be a college student on a budget, and still be healthy and responsible - and have fun (and get good grades)? It would certainly be an interesting challenge - one that could very easily be marred by my physical limitations. If, as I try to be more aware of this sort of thing, it becomes the tenor of the majority of my posts, perhaps I will consider an overhaul.
So, that's it, little blog. Checking out for now.
Love,
Judith
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Ginger Cavemen
Dear Blog,
Among the wonderful, philosophical - and occasionally pointless - things running through my head today, I've been thinking about being embarrassed. I was the kid that knew plenty how to embarrass herself, but never has gotten down that whole "ten years from now you'll laugh about this thing." I think about some of those incidents, and I'm still not laughing. Just embarrassed.
Like that time we traded spelling books to correct in seventh grade, and the teacher began to talk on and on about something else, and I forgot we'd traded books, and I began doodling on the cover (including my name!). I felt really bad for the kid whose book I doodled on, especially because it was a boy and middle school was not a kind time for people who had people of the other sex's names written on their books.
Or yesterday, when I may or may not have smiled at a complete stranger, or the guy who sits next to me in Intro to Christianity.
Or any manner of things in between them all. You should hear the stories my family tells. I think Scottish people were invented as a race bent on embarrassing all of the members of their own society, such that only the most unaffected by such repeated stories will survive and perpetuate the race (I had historical geology today... did you know what color hair neanderthals had? Red.)
So, yeah, I'm one of those people who embarrasses herself far too easily. Yet, apparently, feels no shame in posting her shortcomings on the internet. Though, that's probably because I am all to aware that everyone else is all to aware of their own shortcomings, and that I'm fairly certain that there were people in high school who thought I was a stuck-up academic snob, which isn't true, but I can understand why I came off that way...
Sorry for my neglect to post. Lovely blog, I did not mean to forget to feed you.
Love,
Judith
Among the wonderful, philosophical - and occasionally pointless - things running through my head today, I've been thinking about being embarrassed. I was the kid that knew plenty how to embarrass herself, but never has gotten down that whole "ten years from now you'll laugh about this thing." I think about some of those incidents, and I'm still not laughing. Just embarrassed.
Like that time we traded spelling books to correct in seventh grade, and the teacher began to talk on and on about something else, and I forgot we'd traded books, and I began doodling on the cover (including my name!). I felt really bad for the kid whose book I doodled on, especially because it was a boy and middle school was not a kind time for people who had people of the other sex's names written on their books.
Or yesterday, when I may or may not have smiled at a complete stranger, or the guy who sits next to me in Intro to Christianity.
Or any manner of things in between them all. You should hear the stories my family tells. I think Scottish people were invented as a race bent on embarrassing all of the members of their own society, such that only the most unaffected by such repeated stories will survive and perpetuate the race (I had historical geology today... did you know what color hair neanderthals had? Red.)
So, yeah, I'm one of those people who embarrasses herself far too easily. Yet, apparently, feels no shame in posting her shortcomings on the internet. Though, that's probably because I am all to aware that everyone else is all to aware of their own shortcomings, and that I'm fairly certain that there were people in high school who thought I was a stuck-up academic snob, which isn't true, but I can understand why I came off that way...
Sorry for my neglect to post. Lovely blog, I did not mean to forget to feed you.
Love,
Judith
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Can't Buy Me Happiness
Dear Blog,
There was this kid in my class today who kinda pissed me off. In a way like, he talked like he was all mature and knew what was up, but the things he was saying were ridiculous. He was talking about maybe switching his major to pre-med, so he could be a doctor - not because it's what he's passionate about, but because his dad's a doctor and he doesn't want to give up the lifestyle he's living right now.
It was like, whoa! First thing kid, anywhere else in the world, a doctor would not be making the kind of money he makes in the US. And secondly - why make yourself miserable? Why spend so much time - and money - to do something that you aren't passionate about? Because you don't have to be very old to know the old joke that, at Christmas, the kids' favorite present is the box the toy comes in. It's the truth: happiness doesn't come from stuff. Money isn't going to get you anywhere kid - and if you are unhappy at your job, having the money to buy you a cushy lifestyle isn't going to buy you happiness.
Maybe it's naive of me, but I thought that people were smarter than that. I'm twenty years old, and I can be immature at times (more often than I would like!), but I know that the best times I've had in my life have not been times when I've been shelling out insane amounts of money on movies and restaurants - they've been the times I've spent with my friends, often doing things that cost us nothing. I know that is the same for people across the world, no matter what their situation; money doesn't buy happiness. If anything, it enslaves people to the lie that it does make their lives better...
But, as I said, and as any logical person knows: that's a lie. And it's not that kid's fault that he has bought into the lie; it's what he's probably been told all his love - though not overtly.
Maybe I see things differently, I don't know. I've always thought that I - as a person who has a lot - have an obligation to the people who don't have a lot. Because I did nothing to deserve the things I have. No amount of work I do to earn money changes the fact that I am given life and skills by a power far greater than I, and I could very easily not be able to do those things that make me able to earn that money. I don't deserve a cushy lifestyle, and I have no excuse for living one while others who work just as much are facing hardship. In fact, the Bible tells me,
"Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: 'He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.'" - 2 Corinthians 8: 13-15
Some days I feel like I have so much more growing to do, that I'm nowhere near as mature and don't think nearly enough things through as I need to. But then I see a lot of people around me, living their lives in ways I've already grown past. What gives?
- Judith
There was this kid in my class today who kinda pissed me off. In a way like, he talked like he was all mature and knew what was up, but the things he was saying were ridiculous. He was talking about maybe switching his major to pre-med, so he could be a doctor - not because it's what he's passionate about, but because his dad's a doctor and he doesn't want to give up the lifestyle he's living right now.
It was like, whoa! First thing kid, anywhere else in the world, a doctor would not be making the kind of money he makes in the US. And secondly - why make yourself miserable? Why spend so much time - and money - to do something that you aren't passionate about? Because you don't have to be very old to know the old joke that, at Christmas, the kids' favorite present is the box the toy comes in. It's the truth: happiness doesn't come from stuff. Money isn't going to get you anywhere kid - and if you are unhappy at your job, having the money to buy you a cushy lifestyle isn't going to buy you happiness.
Maybe it's naive of me, but I thought that people were smarter than that. I'm twenty years old, and I can be immature at times (more often than I would like!), but I know that the best times I've had in my life have not been times when I've been shelling out insane amounts of money on movies and restaurants - they've been the times I've spent with my friends, often doing things that cost us nothing. I know that is the same for people across the world, no matter what their situation; money doesn't buy happiness. If anything, it enslaves people to the lie that it does make their lives better...
But, as I said, and as any logical person knows: that's a lie. And it's not that kid's fault that he has bought into the lie; it's what he's probably been told all his love - though not overtly.
Maybe I see things differently, I don't know. I've always thought that I - as a person who has a lot - have an obligation to the people who don't have a lot. Because I did nothing to deserve the things I have. No amount of work I do to earn money changes the fact that I am given life and skills by a power far greater than I, and I could very easily not be able to do those things that make me able to earn that money. I don't deserve a cushy lifestyle, and I have no excuse for living one while others who work just as much are facing hardship. In fact, the Bible tells me,
"Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality. At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality, as it is written: 'He who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little.'" - 2 Corinthians 8: 13-15
Some days I feel like I have so much more growing to do, that I'm nowhere near as mature and don't think nearly enough things through as I need to. But then I see a lot of people around me, living their lives in ways I've already grown past. What gives?
- Judith
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Back to the Daily Grind (and loving it!)
Dear Blog,
This is the end of winter break for me. I'm still amazed I made it through the first semester. I definitely had mild freak-outs that I would crash over the break and not make it to second semester. But I'm so much better! I'm operating on 75-80% nowadays, which is really good for me. I can do things that occupy most of the day - including things that involve some level of focus on my part - though I still struggle to be active or social for great lengths of time. Still, it's more of an improvement than I ever imagine seeing in myself.
I'm excited to go back to school. I love school; I always have. I actually wrote about that in a scholarship essay; though in retrospect it sounded like I was making myself out to be something I'm not (because most people don't love school, and so it sounds silly and boastful when I say it), so I doubt I'll be getting that scholarship. Anyway; I can't wait for classes. I can't wait to begin learning again. I can't wait for homework. I can't wait for an opportunity to push myself. I can't wait to fall in love with HumTut essays all over again, to actually take an English class, to be simply in awe of the world God has created.
I've been getting all ready for tomorrow; I feel like an over-enthusiastic eleven-year-old. At least I'm aware of it, so I can laugh at myself as I do it. Some things will never change.
Love,
Judith
This is the end of winter break for me. I'm still amazed I made it through the first semester. I definitely had mild freak-outs that I would crash over the break and not make it to second semester. But I'm so much better! I'm operating on 75-80% nowadays, which is really good for me. I can do things that occupy most of the day - including things that involve some level of focus on my part - though I still struggle to be active or social for great lengths of time. Still, it's more of an improvement than I ever imagine seeing in myself.
I'm excited to go back to school. I love school; I always have. I actually wrote about that in a scholarship essay; though in retrospect it sounded like I was making myself out to be something I'm not (because most people don't love school, and so it sounds silly and boastful when I say it), so I doubt I'll be getting that scholarship. Anyway; I can't wait for classes. I can't wait to begin learning again. I can't wait for homework. I can't wait for an opportunity to push myself. I can't wait to fall in love with HumTut essays all over again, to actually take an English class, to be simply in awe of the world God has created.
I've been getting all ready for tomorrow; I feel like an over-enthusiastic eleven-year-old. At least I'm aware of it, so I can laugh at myself as I do it. Some things will never change.
Love,
Judith
Friday, January 15, 2010
Shifting Focus
Dear Blog,
For a few days, I was really into those frugal-blogs, all about penny-pinching and unique ways to save money and getting out of debt and all of that. I even considered trying a college-kid version of one, for about a minute. And, as good as all of those things are, I realized yesterday evening that it was all a little bit silly. Because, the fact is, being obsessed with not spending money is still being obsessed with money. And that's not good, at all.
I was sitting and realizing this and realizing that, on the contrary, in all my stinginess I still had a great deal more than many people will ever have. And I have opportunities - opportunities to get a college education and a job that would support both myself and others... The kind of opportunities that give me a chance to do something good with what money I get. I could scrimp and pinch pennies and not have to pay so much on bills... But I could just as easily be giving to those in need.
Around the world, people need aid in almost every area imaginable. I'm sure someone could do something with my skill set. Even if I only do end up being a librarian, in a silly small suburban town like this one, I can still give of my money and my time, even if only locally.
So, I'm not going to waste shower water or spend money on fast food or eating out when I have food at home - but I'm not going to obsess about it. Because, from now on, the reason I'm going to be doing this is not for me, but for the other people who don't have any of the daily-needs type of things I have, much less the luxuries I'm forgoing.
And, dear blog, I'm charging you with keeping me accountable to this.
Love,
Judith
For a few days, I was really into those frugal-blogs, all about penny-pinching and unique ways to save money and getting out of debt and all of that. I even considered trying a college-kid version of one, for about a minute. And, as good as all of those things are, I realized yesterday evening that it was all a little bit silly. Because, the fact is, being obsessed with not spending money is still being obsessed with money. And that's not good, at all.
I was sitting and realizing this and realizing that, on the contrary, in all my stinginess I still had a great deal more than many people will ever have. And I have opportunities - opportunities to get a college education and a job that would support both myself and others... The kind of opportunities that give me a chance to do something good with what money I get. I could scrimp and pinch pennies and not have to pay so much on bills... But I could just as easily be giving to those in need.
Around the world, people need aid in almost every area imaginable. I'm sure someone could do something with my skill set. Even if I only do end up being a librarian, in a silly small suburban town like this one, I can still give of my money and my time, even if only locally.
So, I'm not going to waste shower water or spend money on fast food or eating out when I have food at home - but I'm not going to obsess about it. Because, from now on, the reason I'm going to be doing this is not for me, but for the other people who don't have any of the daily-needs type of things I have, much less the luxuries I'm forgoing.
And, dear blog, I'm charging you with keeping me accountable to this.
Love,
Judith
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Over-Enthusiastic College-Student hippie activist
Dear Blog,
When I was younger, I would watch TV or hear people talking about those crazy activists - usually college students who dressed like hippies and probably smoked pot - and think of how ridiculous and over-enthusiastic they were.
The fact is, I was wrong. I may even be one of them now.
I am well aware of how easily I could not live in this country with all this money and opportunity. I am well aware that I could easily be living in poverty and disease. I am well aware of how blessed my life is - and how those whose lives are not, did not choose to be born into poverty or disease.
I'm part of a club at school called Not For Sale, a modern-day abolitionist group. I was wandering through all the club's stalls at the beginning of the year, and the sheet of paper I was handed at this particular club's table was too much to ignore.
It told me that:
- Human trafficking is defined as the recruitment and transportation of persons within or across boundaries by force, fraud, or deception for the purpose of exploiting them economically.
- Today there are 27 million people enslaved, more than at the peak of the TransAtlantic Slave Trade.
- Human trafficking is the third largest and fastest growing illegal trafficking activity in the world; a $32-billion a year enterprise.
- The average price of a slave is $90.
- 80% of victims are women. 50% of victims are children.
- Every minute, two more children are forced into slavery.
- One million children are forced to work in the sex industry every day.
- An estimated 200,000 people (potentially more) are enslaved in the US today, and every year the slave population of the US grows 17,000 more.
These facts don't sound outrageously fake. They weren't written to be sensational; they were just plain and obvious, and held their own power. I couldn't ignore the information I had been given.
Later in the semester, when we were going around the dorms collecting change for a fundraiser, I was surprised at the number of people who asked us if we were for real, who thought that slavery was done with Abraham Lincoln and his emancipation proclamation, and who were genuinely shocked not only to hear that there were so many slaves in the world today - but so many in the US too!
So, I've bought a book and bookmarked a website that rate companies on how socially responsible they are; that way, I can be a conscientious consumer. It's the law of supply and demand; if a company begins losing profit because of their practices, then if they want to survive they'll have to change those practices. I doubt my single-person purchases will make such a difference, but I refuse to support those companies, and I will continue to tell others about them.
Like I said, I'm well aware that person enslaved could have been me. I'm also well aware that, since it could have been me, and since I have so much opportunity and possibility to earn money, I have an obligation to these people who don't have those opportunities, to do what I can for them.
If any of these facts had you sad or shocked, check out the websites listed below:
www.notforsalecampaign.org - Lots of information on what is going on, and what you can do to help. There is also a book, Not for Sale, written by David Batstone.
www.slaverymap.org - A map of the US, showing locations where slavery has been reported. You can zoom in and click on the flags to see descriptions of the incidents.
Free2Work.org - a website that rates companies - giving them grades from A to F - regarding slave labor.
Also check out The Better World Shopping Guide, a book that fits in your purse or pocket and rates products you might see in a supermarket or clothing store on their social and environmental responsibility.
When I was younger, I would watch TV or hear people talking about those crazy activists - usually college students who dressed like hippies and probably smoked pot - and think of how ridiculous and over-enthusiastic they were.
The fact is, I was wrong. I may even be one of them now.
I am well aware of how easily I could not live in this country with all this money and opportunity. I am well aware that I could easily be living in poverty and disease. I am well aware of how blessed my life is - and how those whose lives are not, did not choose to be born into poverty or disease.
I'm part of a club at school called Not For Sale, a modern-day abolitionist group. I was wandering through all the club's stalls at the beginning of the year, and the sheet of paper I was handed at this particular club's table was too much to ignore.
It told me that:
- Human trafficking is defined as the recruitment and transportation of persons within or across boundaries by force, fraud, or deception for the purpose of exploiting them economically.
- Today there are 27 million people enslaved, more than at the peak of the TransAtlantic Slave Trade.
- Human trafficking is the third largest and fastest growing illegal trafficking activity in the world; a $32-billion a year enterprise.
- The average price of a slave is $90.
- 80% of victims are women. 50% of victims are children.
- Every minute, two more children are forced into slavery.
- One million children are forced to work in the sex industry every day.
- An estimated 200,000 people (potentially more) are enslaved in the US today, and every year the slave population of the US grows 17,000 more.
These facts don't sound outrageously fake. They weren't written to be sensational; they were just plain and obvious, and held their own power. I couldn't ignore the information I had been given.
Later in the semester, when we were going around the dorms collecting change for a fundraiser, I was surprised at the number of people who asked us if we were for real, who thought that slavery was done with Abraham Lincoln and his emancipation proclamation, and who were genuinely shocked not only to hear that there were so many slaves in the world today - but so many in the US too!
So, I've bought a book and bookmarked a website that rate companies on how socially responsible they are; that way, I can be a conscientious consumer. It's the law of supply and demand; if a company begins losing profit because of their practices, then if they want to survive they'll have to change those practices. I doubt my single-person purchases will make such a difference, but I refuse to support those companies, and I will continue to tell others about them.
Like I said, I'm well aware that person enslaved could have been me. I'm also well aware that, since it could have been me, and since I have so much opportunity and possibility to earn money, I have an obligation to these people who don't have those opportunities, to do what I can for them.
If any of these facts had you sad or shocked, check out the websites listed below:
www.notforsalecampaign.org - Lots of information on what is going on, and what you can do to help. There is also a book, Not for Sale, written by David Batstone.
www.slaverymap.org - A map of the US, showing locations where slavery has been reported. You can zoom in and click on the flags to see descriptions of the incidents.
Free2Work.org - a website that rates companies - giving them grades from A to F - regarding slave labor.
Also check out The Better World Shopping Guide, a book that fits in your purse or pocket and rates products you might see in a supermarket or clothing store on their social and environmental responsibility.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
For the Least of These
"The the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"
- Matthew 25: 34-40
This, I suppose, is the juncture at which my life has stalled. I'm like those people who thought they were doing everything right, but weren't. I want to love God more; I read my Bible every day and learn more every day. I pray. But, what fruit is there from my faith? When have I seen a brother hungry or thirsty or in need, and done anything about it?
I know several people who serve God on Skidrow at nights, but I can't do that. I've got a disease characterized by exhaustion; I can't give up sleep like that. But am I just making excuses? I try to be smart when I shop, and buy from the most socially responsible companies - I certainly don't want to support those who abuse and exploit others. I give money to charity - but that's leaving the work up to someone else, not actually doing something myself.
I try to look for opportunities - but it wouldn't be the first time that one came up, and I hesitated because of fear, and missed it. I don't quite know where to seek other opportunities - but where? And if I did find them, would I be too paralyzed by fear to do anything? How often have I stifled the Holy Spirit in the past because of fear? It's interesting then, that I cannot rid myself of the fear without the Holy Spirit - the very one whom that fear pushes away.
Earlier in the passage, Jesus describes the King separating the sheep and the goats - the sheep being the faithful who go to eternal life, the goats being those who did not do for others and go to eternal punishment. I want to change; I'm desperately trying to change. But, in the end, will I be a sheep or a goat?
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"
- Matthew 25: 34-40
This, I suppose, is the juncture at which my life has stalled. I'm like those people who thought they were doing everything right, but weren't. I want to love God more; I read my Bible every day and learn more every day. I pray. But, what fruit is there from my faith? When have I seen a brother hungry or thirsty or in need, and done anything about it?
I know several people who serve God on Skidrow at nights, but I can't do that. I've got a disease characterized by exhaustion; I can't give up sleep like that. But am I just making excuses? I try to be smart when I shop, and buy from the most socially responsible companies - I certainly don't want to support those who abuse and exploit others. I give money to charity - but that's leaving the work up to someone else, not actually doing something myself.
I try to look for opportunities - but it wouldn't be the first time that one came up, and I hesitated because of fear, and missed it. I don't quite know where to seek other opportunities - but where? And if I did find them, would I be too paralyzed by fear to do anything? How often have I stifled the Holy Spirit in the past because of fear? It's interesting then, that I cannot rid myself of the fear without the Holy Spirit - the very one whom that fear pushes away.
Earlier in the passage, Jesus describes the King separating the sheep and the goats - the sheep being the faithful who go to eternal life, the goats being those who did not do for others and go to eternal punishment. I want to change; I'm desperately trying to change. But, in the end, will I be a sheep or a goat?
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Weather Outiside is... Delightful
Dear Blog,
It's been really lovely outside the past few days; the kind of weather I wish we got in the summer, warm but not roasting. I intended to clean my room today, but when I got home from running errands this morning, there was just no way I was going to be able to sit around inside, knowing it was so nice out. You see, I lived in Scotland for nine years and I spent more time outside than I have in the nearly eleven years I've been living here. Where California is lucky to get a week with rain, Scotland is lucky to get a week without it. So, I was sick of not taking advantage of the loveliness outside, and I went for a hike with my brother. We walked off the main trail and explored some of the various forks (and there were a lot of forks) and perhaps nearly got eaten by something big and growling (or small and growling - we didn't stop to look). It was a really nice day.
I might add this to my New Years Resolutions - to spend some time outside everyday. It's really too lovely - even on California's worst days - not to appreciate it.
In other exciting news, I bought fifteen books yesterday - an entire day of used bookstores; you have no idea how wonderful that was. I spent $36 on them. I couldn't have gotten two brand new hardbacks at Barnes and Noble for that. I had Christmas money I was saving for that trip, and I consider it to be money well spent. My only problem now? A lack of shelf space.
I can't wait for school to go back. I'm not excited about how early my classes are starting (and starting next week, I'm going to get in the habit of going to bed earlier and waking up earlier, just to get into the swing of it), but I am very excited about the classes I'll be taking. I love school. I'm all organized and planning and can't wait. And this semester, I have breaks between classes; I may spend them on homework, but I might just spend them on resting and reading. It would be good to get back into the swing of reading again.
Dear Blog, I do admit, there is a lot on my heart right now. I find myself stalled; I cannot move forward right now, because I don't know how. I have been reading my Bible more and more, morning and evening, praying often and trying to fall more in love with the Lord, that I may love him with all my heart and mind and soul... But I find myself at a point where I don't know how to translate any of the things I feel stirring within me into action. I think this may be why I'm so impatient for school to start again; I want to be around others. Here at home, on vacation, I'm left too much to my own devices. And that doesn't mean I can't be kinder to my family and do more to help at home, and it doesn't mean that I can't love God from where I sit right now... but I have such a hard time getting out of my own head, and focusing on the people around me - and I remember it being so much easier when there actually was other, non-related people around me.
So, Dear Blog, these are my thoughts and ruminations and recollections, and I'm signing off for tonight because I've got a bit of a headache, and I think it may have been the 29 grams of sugar in the soda I just drank that did it.
Love,
Judith
It's been really lovely outside the past few days; the kind of weather I wish we got in the summer, warm but not roasting. I intended to clean my room today, but when I got home from running errands this morning, there was just no way I was going to be able to sit around inside, knowing it was so nice out. You see, I lived in Scotland for nine years and I spent more time outside than I have in the nearly eleven years I've been living here. Where California is lucky to get a week with rain, Scotland is lucky to get a week without it. So, I was sick of not taking advantage of the loveliness outside, and I went for a hike with my brother. We walked off the main trail and explored some of the various forks (and there were a lot of forks) and perhaps nearly got eaten by something big and growling (or small and growling - we didn't stop to look). It was a really nice day.
I might add this to my New Years Resolutions - to spend some time outside everyday. It's really too lovely - even on California's worst days - not to appreciate it.
In other exciting news, I bought fifteen books yesterday - an entire day of used bookstores; you have no idea how wonderful that was. I spent $36 on them. I couldn't have gotten two brand new hardbacks at Barnes and Noble for that. I had Christmas money I was saving for that trip, and I consider it to be money well spent. My only problem now? A lack of shelf space.
I can't wait for school to go back. I'm not excited about how early my classes are starting (and starting next week, I'm going to get in the habit of going to bed earlier and waking up earlier, just to get into the swing of it), but I am very excited about the classes I'll be taking. I love school. I'm all organized and planning and can't wait. And this semester, I have breaks between classes; I may spend them on homework, but I might just spend them on resting and reading. It would be good to get back into the swing of reading again.
Dear Blog, I do admit, there is a lot on my heart right now. I find myself stalled; I cannot move forward right now, because I don't know how. I have been reading my Bible more and more, morning and evening, praying often and trying to fall more in love with the Lord, that I may love him with all my heart and mind and soul... But I find myself at a point where I don't know how to translate any of the things I feel stirring within me into action. I think this may be why I'm so impatient for school to start again; I want to be around others. Here at home, on vacation, I'm left too much to my own devices. And that doesn't mean I can't be kinder to my family and do more to help at home, and it doesn't mean that I can't love God from where I sit right now... but I have such a hard time getting out of my own head, and focusing on the people around me - and I remember it being so much easier when there actually was other, non-related people around me.
So, Dear Blog, these are my thoughts and ruminations and recollections, and I'm signing off for tonight because I've got a bit of a headache, and I think it may have been the 29 grams of sugar in the soda I just drank that did it.
Love,
Judith
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Here's to the New Year
Dear Blog,
I got a haircut yesterday. My hair had grown so long, and was becoming unmanageable; now, it's nice and short - well, to my shoulders - and I didn't even have to condition it this morning!
Along with the haircut, I've been slowly gaining New Year's resolutions. I didn't come up with any in time for the New Year, but as the days have gone on, I keep coming up with the same thoughts, over and over.
The biggest one is; I need to step up my game on the not-wasting-money part. In fact, I need to step up my game so much, that not only do I not waste money, but I actually save money. The crazy thing is, this isn't going to be insanely hard for me to do; there are so many little things I can do. Little, yes; but little is still money. Not to say that I won't spend; but I refuse to spend indiscriminately anymore.
My other big resolution is to get exercise. I'm well enough to do it; and I know that getting more exercise tends to give a person more energy, and helps them to sleep better at night. I have the option of taking another medication to help with sleep - but I'd rather take the free (and healthy!) option first.
Among other smaller resolutions, I also want to spend less time on the computer. Aside from homework or writing, most of what I do on here is a waste of time - and I've only been given 24 hours in a day, half of which I spend in sleep. I want to use the remainder wisely.
So, here's to a New Year filled with Thinking before I buy, or turn on the computer or the television!
- Judith
I got a haircut yesterday. My hair had grown so long, and was becoming unmanageable; now, it's nice and short - well, to my shoulders - and I didn't even have to condition it this morning!
Along with the haircut, I've been slowly gaining New Year's resolutions. I didn't come up with any in time for the New Year, but as the days have gone on, I keep coming up with the same thoughts, over and over.
The biggest one is; I need to step up my game on the not-wasting-money part. In fact, I need to step up my game so much, that not only do I not waste money, but I actually save money. The crazy thing is, this isn't going to be insanely hard for me to do; there are so many little things I can do. Little, yes; but little is still money. Not to say that I won't spend; but I refuse to spend indiscriminately anymore.
My other big resolution is to get exercise. I'm well enough to do it; and I know that getting more exercise tends to give a person more energy, and helps them to sleep better at night. I have the option of taking another medication to help with sleep - but I'd rather take the free (and healthy!) option first.
Among other smaller resolutions, I also want to spend less time on the computer. Aside from homework or writing, most of what I do on here is a waste of time - and I've only been given 24 hours in a day, half of which I spend in sleep. I want to use the remainder wisely.
So, here's to a New Year filled with Thinking before I buy, or turn on the computer or the television!
- Judith
Monday, January 4, 2010
Making Plans
Dear Blog,
I want to add another class for next semester. I want to add this class because I'm considering a Geology minor, and I won't get another chance to take this class until a year from now, which is a bit late. I want to add this class because I adored Geology and I can't imagine giving it up just yet.
I am a procrastinator, in ways I didn't know possible. I wasn't so much of a procrastinator ever before in my life, until last semester. I got my work done, it is true - more so than many of my peers - but not to my own satisfaction. I have, in the past month, eliminated some of those distractions that became massive time-wasters, but the temptation is constant. How do I know that, if I take sixteen credits next semester, I won't procrastinate my butt off until I haven't gotten anything done?
And how do I know that if I take sixteen credits next semester, my body will be able to handle it? I had a lot of headaches last semester, more than I had been used to. I was able to do more, but my mind wasn't always in best shape. So, how is this going to work?
Now, I want to take the class. And I know that next semester isn't going to be so bad, homework-wise, as last. None of the classes I'm currently signed up for will have massive amounts of textbook readings (and the one that might - Intro to Christianity - I'm really pretty familiar with the textbook to start with). I've got HumTut, which is a lot of Lit and Philosophy, and not so much of the read-and-take-notes-to-understand-it (well, I don't know that other people take notes from their textbook readings, but I have to, because that's how I learn, and that's the real headache). And the English class I'll be taking is a lot of reading and writing - but that's what I'm good at. So, work-load wise, I'm not too worried either.
So, I suppose, the big question is if the registrar will get back to me on whether or not I can do it. Then, I can email Wendy and get all my accommodations stuff set up.
Making plans; my other middle name.
Love,
Judith
I want to add another class for next semester. I want to add this class because I'm considering a Geology minor, and I won't get another chance to take this class until a year from now, which is a bit late. I want to add this class because I adored Geology and I can't imagine giving it up just yet.
I am a procrastinator, in ways I didn't know possible. I wasn't so much of a procrastinator ever before in my life, until last semester. I got my work done, it is true - more so than many of my peers - but not to my own satisfaction. I have, in the past month, eliminated some of those distractions that became massive time-wasters, but the temptation is constant. How do I know that, if I take sixteen credits next semester, I won't procrastinate my butt off until I haven't gotten anything done?
And how do I know that if I take sixteen credits next semester, my body will be able to handle it? I had a lot of headaches last semester, more than I had been used to. I was able to do more, but my mind wasn't always in best shape. So, how is this going to work?
Now, I want to take the class. And I know that next semester isn't going to be so bad, homework-wise, as last. None of the classes I'm currently signed up for will have massive amounts of textbook readings (and the one that might - Intro to Christianity - I'm really pretty familiar with the textbook to start with). I've got HumTut, which is a lot of Lit and Philosophy, and not so much of the read-and-take-notes-to-understand-it (well, I don't know that other people take notes from their textbook readings, but I have to, because that's how I learn, and that's the real headache). And the English class I'll be taking is a lot of reading and writing - but that's what I'm good at. So, work-load wise, I'm not too worried either.
So, I suppose, the big question is if the registrar will get back to me on whether or not I can do it. Then, I can email Wendy and get all my accommodations stuff set up.
Making plans; my other middle name.
Love,
Judith
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