For the Least of These

"The the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"
- Matthew 25: 34-40

This, I suppose, is the juncture at which my life has stalled.  I'm like those people who thought they were doing everything right, but weren't.  I want to love God more; I read my Bible every day and learn more every day.  I pray.  But, what fruit is there from my faith?  When have I seen a brother hungry or thirsty or in need, and done anything about it?

I know several people who serve God on Skidrow at nights, but I can't do that.  I've got a disease characterized by exhaustion; I can't give up sleep like that.  But am I just making excuses?  I try to be smart when I shop, and buy from the most socially responsible companies - I certainly don't want to support those who abuse and exploit others.  I give money to charity - but that's leaving the work up to someone else, not actually doing something myself.

I try to look for opportunities - but it wouldn't be the first time that one came up, and I hesitated because of fear, and missed it.  I don't quite know where to seek other opportunities - but where?  And if I did find them, would I be too paralyzed by fear to do anything?  How often have I stifled the Holy Spirit in the past because of fear?  It's interesting then, that I cannot rid myself of the fear without the Holy Spirit - the very one whom that fear pushes away.

Earlier in the passage, Jesus describes the King separating the sheep and the goats - the sheep being the faithful who go to eternal life, the goats being those who did not do for others and go to eternal punishment.  I want to change; I'm desperately trying to change.  But, in the end, will I be a sheep or a goat?