We sat with our backs against the wall - stained and old, the creamy color of the original seventies paint peeling - and our bums on the painted orange concrete floor, legs stretched out in front, stomachs doubled and chests heaving. Laughing had never felt so good.
Melinda tapped my knee with her - thankfully - half-empty water bottle. “Bang!”
“Meh! No!” I launched a cracker at her. She ducked, and it narrowly missed her black curls.
“Ritz!”
“You’re rich?” We laughed harder. It didn’t even make sense.
Lara sat underneath the fire extinguisher, shaking her head and trying to chop up a meatball. “You guys are insane.”
“No we’re not.” Yes, we were.
The cafeteria at Westlake High School was old and grungy and something special. It just screamed of the seventies during which it was built, all orange and smoke-dinged. The clock never worked. The tiny lunch line spoke volumes for the growth of the school over the years; they had to add two lunch carts out in the quad for extra coverage.
Ever since the fires that October, when the air had been too bad to sit outside, Melinda (“Duh”) and Lara (“Blah”) and I (“Ditch”) had taken refuge next to the cafeteria doors, along the wall, under the fire extinguisher. Sometimes Ty or Michael would join us, but for the most part it was just the “Three Amigas" -
“The Three musketeers!” Melinda, “the Frenchie," had supplied.
“The Three Blind Mice!” Lara quoted a not-so-funny television show on the too-young-for us Disney Channel. But it was okay; we were having too much fun.
The actual tables in the cafeteria were usually occupied with anime freaks and wannabe gangsters, so it was always loud, and when the girls bathroom didn’t smell of cookies or brownies (because it was irreverently placed next to the kitchen), it reeked of pot. But we loved our corner. We were our own unit; three band kids, all new that year, so different and yet we got along so well. We’re still close today.
From somewhere near the doors to the theatre - seriously, who designed this place? - a cell phone would emerge, and a number would be speed dialed at exactly 12:30p.m....
BRI-II-ING! The pay phone only a yard away would startle us from our mirth. We always knew it was coming, but every day without fail we jumped. A few seats over from the pay phone prankster, someone opened a baggie lovingly packed with grapes and strawberries by a caring mother. The fruit was never eaten; in fact, half of the fruit ended up across the cafeteria, in our laps.
This was high school. Noisy and ridiculous and there were real food fights here. We were best friends, clinging to each other for support in a sea of people so much larger and so much less naive than we were. No matter what else happened my freshman year, I will always remember - more than anything else - the fantastic feeling of a laugh in your throat and your eyes squeezed so tight you could barely see, breathless because our lives were, in those moments on the cafeteria floor, better than anyone else’s.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I have bruises on my shin from sitting with my legs crossed
I was thinking about watching another episode of Dexter (another!), but I decided to blog. I'm in the mood to write.
I've been insanely sore all day. You name it, it hurts. I hate this part, the way it sneaks up on me. A week and a half ago, I was spending weekends running around being a little bit college-kid-y and now, I'm just too tired to keep going. I had a midterm today, and I didn't knock myself out studying for it, but it was physically painful when I did try to study.
I don't want to move right now. I just started another episode of Dexter. I'm exhausted, and I'll probably need more than the eight hours of sleep I'll end up getting... but I'm seriously having a hard time moving.
By the way: Stephen King is a genius. Even if his books creep me out. He's still a genius.
I've been insanely sore all day. You name it, it hurts. I hate this part, the way it sneaks up on me. A week and a half ago, I was spending weekends running around being a little bit college-kid-y and now, I'm just too tired to keep going. I had a midterm today, and I didn't knock myself out studying for it, but it was physically painful when I did try to study.
I don't want to move right now. I just started another episode of Dexter. I'm exhausted, and I'll probably need more than the eight hours of sleep I'll end up getting... but I'm seriously having a hard time moving.
By the way: Stephen King is a genius. Even if his books creep me out. He's still a genius.
Friday, October 22, 2010
For weeks, I keep saying to myself, "I'm going to blog today." I've got so much to share about all the cool things that happened over my birthday, and a few things that happened that weren't so great. I've got all these thoughts running through my head, and I consider myself a writer by nature, so why wouldn't I share them?!
But, things have been strange recently. I've been feeling like I'm in limbo, a bit. I'm so much better, physically, than I was a year ago, two years ago - but I'm still limited. I want to spend time running around with friends, doing silly things, having great stories - but I'm limited. And it frustrates me, as I sit down to work on another piece for my nonfiction writing class, or wander into my room after a long day, that from all of my life through high school all of my greatest stories include other people - and now, it's just me, and my books, and a really comfy chair.
In other, solitude-based news, I've moved to the downstairs bedroom. It was Mum's idea; I've never lived seven years in one room before, and mine was the only one that hadn't been redecorated. So, we decided just to move down to the room that had it's own bathroom and was close to the garage in case I came in late (like I ever come in all that late!). I've had a blast redecorating, and figuring out what I still use and should keep, and what goes in the garage sale pile. I have this fantastic new white-and-orange desk, and this gorgeous bedspread on my new - queen! - bed, and I'm loving it here.
With that, I will sign off. It sounds like pancakes are on offer in the kitchen...
But, things have been strange recently. I've been feeling like I'm in limbo, a bit. I'm so much better, physically, than I was a year ago, two years ago - but I'm still limited. I want to spend time running around with friends, doing silly things, having great stories - but I'm limited. And it frustrates me, as I sit down to work on another piece for my nonfiction writing class, or wander into my room after a long day, that from all of my life through high school all of my greatest stories include other people - and now, it's just me, and my books, and a really comfy chair.
In other, solitude-based news, I've moved to the downstairs bedroom. It was Mum's idea; I've never lived seven years in one room before, and mine was the only one that hadn't been redecorated. So, we decided just to move down to the room that had it's own bathroom and was close to the garage in case I came in late (like I ever come in all that late!). I've had a blast redecorating, and figuring out what I still use and should keep, and what goes in the garage sale pile. I have this fantastic new white-and-orange desk, and this gorgeous bedspread on my new - queen! - bed, and I'm loving it here.
With that, I will sign off. It sounds like pancakes are on offer in the kitchen...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Psalm 27
"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lrod
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and may music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother foraske me,
the Lord will recieve me.
Teach me your way, O Lord;
lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lrod
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and may music to the Lord.
Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.
Though my father and mother foraske me,
the Lord will recieve me.
Teach me your way, O Lord;
lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."
Monday, August 23, 2010
I'm not quite sure where this post came from either...
Dear Blog,
I grew up the daughter of an ex-pediatric nurse and health visitor. I grew up in a house where meals weren't frozen or ordered out, and where vegetables weren't a point of contention (I've been a very big broccoli fan for a very long time!). My Mum tells stories about my siblings and I when we were young - about how I always had a banana for lunch when I was an infant, and once when at Grandma's a relative had eaten the last banana - so Grandma sent him out to get more for me for lunch (even though Mum assured her that I would easily eat something else for lunch). I've been a big banana fan for probably as long as I've been a broccoli fan.
I grew up in a house where fruit was an acceptable dessert and where, even though we could afford to buy lunch at school, there was no reason to; Mum packed my lunch from day one, and buying a school lunch was a treat. I grew up in a house where you don't cut up your food and then eat it, as I've observed so often; you know how to use both a fork and a knife at the same time, and so cut up your food as you're eating it. Eating with our fingers wasn't acceptable - mainly because Mum cooked us food from scratch - and no finger foods (we still get yelled at for sticking our hands into the salad bowl!)
I got bored this afternoon, and started watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution - basically an American version of what he did in the UK, particularly focusing on school lunches. It was gross to see some of the food served in that elementary school cafeteria, but I was most shocked to watch the scene where a classroom full of kids couldn't properly identify a tomato. One adventurous kid guessed "potato."
I know that the show will have been edited to be dramaticized and such, but there are elements that are too true to what I've noticed as just too far different from how I grew up. The culture of eating out, of kids not being taught to use a knife and fork... The idea that anyone could expect to be healthy without eating a regular diet of fruit and vegetables, aside from their meat and starches, is just plain wrong.
I was interested in a scene in Food Inc, which showed a family which regularly bought dinner at McDonald's entering a supermarket and saying that vegetables were too expensive, that McDonald's was cheaper... just averaging at $5 for a meal for a family of 5 at said chain, would cost $25. If a head of broccoli is $1.50 (that will feed 5 for a meal) and a package of chicken cost $5, and say, rice - about $.99 for a non-instant package (again, that will feed 5 for a meal) or pasta (comparable price) and say, a bag of sweet corn for a $1.50 - that's less than $10 for a meal for 5 (assuming you drink water, as I know many families do), and only costs you time to make it - which depends on the cut of chicken and how you cook it, and whether or not you use a crock pot. So I couldn't understand how McDonald's was cheaper - unless you only ordered dollar-menu hamburgers (and that's not a nutritious dinner at all).
This rambling post brings me to my point; is there any wonder that the Western World has an obesity epidemic? And I get that a lot of people would say that people like Jamie Oliver or the government shouldn't intervene, that people should be free to make their own choices. But what about these same people being bombarded by advertisements for "delicious" KFC, or being told that eating fresh and healthy is too expensive, or being brought up assuming school - school, the representative of everyone smarter than you in the world (at least, when you're five) - says it's okay to eat junk food... Do the people with the power and the knowledge not then have a responsibility to step in, and try to counteract all of the negative influences - particularly in impressionable childrens' lives - before things get any worse?
I could say more but I may become incoherent in my frustration at the people of the world who make such silly decisions, and the business people of the world who enforce those decisions for monetary gain...
- Judith
I grew up the daughter of an ex-pediatric nurse and health visitor. I grew up in a house where meals weren't frozen or ordered out, and where vegetables weren't a point of contention (I've been a very big broccoli fan for a very long time!). My Mum tells stories about my siblings and I when we were young - about how I always had a banana for lunch when I was an infant, and once when at Grandma's a relative had eaten the last banana - so Grandma sent him out to get more for me for lunch (even though Mum assured her that I would easily eat something else for lunch). I've been a big banana fan for probably as long as I've been a broccoli fan.
I grew up in a house where fruit was an acceptable dessert and where, even though we could afford to buy lunch at school, there was no reason to; Mum packed my lunch from day one, and buying a school lunch was a treat. I grew up in a house where you don't cut up your food and then eat it, as I've observed so often; you know how to use both a fork and a knife at the same time, and so cut up your food as you're eating it. Eating with our fingers wasn't acceptable - mainly because Mum cooked us food from scratch - and no finger foods (we still get yelled at for sticking our hands into the salad bowl!)
I got bored this afternoon, and started watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution - basically an American version of what he did in the UK, particularly focusing on school lunches. It was gross to see some of the food served in that elementary school cafeteria, but I was most shocked to watch the scene where a classroom full of kids couldn't properly identify a tomato. One adventurous kid guessed "potato."
I know that the show will have been edited to be dramaticized and such, but there are elements that are too true to what I've noticed as just too far different from how I grew up. The culture of eating out, of kids not being taught to use a knife and fork... The idea that anyone could expect to be healthy without eating a regular diet of fruit and vegetables, aside from their meat and starches, is just plain wrong.
I was interested in a scene in Food Inc, which showed a family which regularly bought dinner at McDonald's entering a supermarket and saying that vegetables were too expensive, that McDonald's was cheaper... just averaging at $5 for a meal for a family of 5 at said chain, would cost $25. If a head of broccoli is $1.50 (that will feed 5 for a meal) and a package of chicken cost $5, and say, rice - about $.99 for a non-instant package (again, that will feed 5 for a meal) or pasta (comparable price) and say, a bag of sweet corn for a $1.50 - that's less than $10 for a meal for 5 (assuming you drink water, as I know many families do), and only costs you time to make it - which depends on the cut of chicken and how you cook it, and whether or not you use a crock pot. So I couldn't understand how McDonald's was cheaper - unless you only ordered dollar-menu hamburgers (and that's not a nutritious dinner at all).
This rambling post brings me to my point; is there any wonder that the Western World has an obesity epidemic? And I get that a lot of people would say that people like Jamie Oliver or the government shouldn't intervene, that people should be free to make their own choices. But what about these same people being bombarded by advertisements for "delicious" KFC, or being told that eating fresh and healthy is too expensive, or being brought up assuming school - school, the representative of everyone smarter than you in the world (at least, when you're five) - says it's okay to eat junk food... Do the people with the power and the knowledge not then have a responsibility to step in, and try to counteract all of the negative influences - particularly in impressionable childrens' lives - before things get any worse?
I could say more but I may become incoherent in my frustration at the people of the world who make such silly decisions, and the business people of the world who enforce those decisions for monetary gain...
- Judith
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thoughts on my relative infancy
Dear Blog,
Mum and I went down to help Bekah move into her house today. Only one of her housemates seemed to be moved in already, which meant there was plenty of space to move around and stomp up and down the stairs carrying stuff. It was pretty fun, seeing her get all set up and unpacked...
But I admit some jealousy here. I'm nearly 21; I'm the kid who should be living away from home, have a house full of people I'll be living with this year that are unrelated to me. I should be the one forgetting things and not really stressing over the things that Mum is worried about, and I should the be the one acting like a grown up.
I am, for the most part, content in my situation. I cannot live on my own right now. Sometimes, after a day at school, I cannot think enough to do anything, let alone stand on my feet long enough to do laundry, to cook myself dinner, to go out and do groceries and chores and other things like that. And while I have a knack for remembering things, when I'm tired, I couldn't really care if the house is on fire; I am physically unable to move.
I'm a lot better than I was a year ago. I spent a lot of this summer out of the house, walking and spending time with friends and I'm pretty capable now. But I can't really combine both physical activity and mental activity yet; it seems like in a day I only have the capacity for one or the other, which is what makes school tough.
By tomorrow, things will be less whirlwind-y than today was, and I'll feel okay about myself and my situation once more. But for right now, I'm reminded that I live a life very different from my peers, and I can only hope that God has a really good reason for it (aside from the ones he has given me so far) that makes it all worth missing out. I fully acknowledge and accept that I will probably never know what this reason is, and it may not even have to do with me, but with another person or circumstance in my life or the lives of those around me. Still...
This is where trusting God happens.
- Judith
Mum and I went down to help Bekah move into her house today. Only one of her housemates seemed to be moved in already, which meant there was plenty of space to move around and stomp up and down the stairs carrying stuff. It was pretty fun, seeing her get all set up and unpacked...
But I admit some jealousy here. I'm nearly 21; I'm the kid who should be living away from home, have a house full of people I'll be living with this year that are unrelated to me. I should be the one forgetting things and not really stressing over the things that Mum is worried about, and I should the be the one acting like a grown up.
I am, for the most part, content in my situation. I cannot live on my own right now. Sometimes, after a day at school, I cannot think enough to do anything, let alone stand on my feet long enough to do laundry, to cook myself dinner, to go out and do groceries and chores and other things like that. And while I have a knack for remembering things, when I'm tired, I couldn't really care if the house is on fire; I am physically unable to move.
I'm a lot better than I was a year ago. I spent a lot of this summer out of the house, walking and spending time with friends and I'm pretty capable now. But I can't really combine both physical activity and mental activity yet; it seems like in a day I only have the capacity for one or the other, which is what makes school tough.
By tomorrow, things will be less whirlwind-y than today was, and I'll feel okay about myself and my situation once more. But for right now, I'm reminded that I live a life very different from my peers, and I can only hope that God has a really good reason for it (aside from the ones he has given me so far) that makes it all worth missing out. I fully acknowledge and accept that I will probably never know what this reason is, and it may not even have to do with me, but with another person or circumstance in my life or the lives of those around me. Still...
This is where trusting God happens.
- Judith
Monday, August 16, 2010
The End of a Long Summer
Dear Little Blog,
It's been a long time, I know. Too be honest, this summer hasn't been what I expected it to be - in both good and bad ways. But the summer is ending now, and I'm all rested up and getting ready for school.
I'm starting to have dreams about going back to school. It always amuses me how excited I am to go back after a summer, but how after a week I'm pretty over it, and all I can see is the long months stretching ahead of me... and lots of work.
When I was younger, every year we made a big school supply shopping trip, and I had to buy everything brand new - new backpack, new clothes, new pens and pencils (even if I had some left from last year) - if you can think of it, I filled the shopping cart with it. This year - and last year - has been much more calm. I have plenty of pens and pencils from last year, and a backpack still in great shape. Really, all I've bought in the line of school supplies is a planner (I'm going back to paper this year), a binder (because mine was falling apart) and hand sanitizer.
Of course, there's the part of me that's insisting on at least one new clothing item, and so I spent late last night reorganizing my closet, looking at what I had. I might buy myself a new skirt... but I can't really justify any other purchases.
Funny how you change over time, isn't it? Is this growing up?
- Judith
It's been a long time, I know. Too be honest, this summer hasn't been what I expected it to be - in both good and bad ways. But the summer is ending now, and I'm all rested up and getting ready for school.
I'm starting to have dreams about going back to school. It always amuses me how excited I am to go back after a summer, but how after a week I'm pretty over it, and all I can see is the long months stretching ahead of me... and lots of work.
When I was younger, every year we made a big school supply shopping trip, and I had to buy everything brand new - new backpack, new clothes, new pens and pencils (even if I had some left from last year) - if you can think of it, I filled the shopping cart with it. This year - and last year - has been much more calm. I have plenty of pens and pencils from last year, and a backpack still in great shape. Really, all I've bought in the line of school supplies is a planner (I'm going back to paper this year), a binder (because mine was falling apart) and hand sanitizer.
Of course, there's the part of me that's insisting on at least one new clothing item, and so I spent late last night reorganizing my closet, looking at what I had. I might buy myself a new skirt... but I can't really justify any other purchases.
Funny how you change over time, isn't it? Is this growing up?
- Judith
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